Weddings are beautiful, but they also come with a ton of planning and preparation—and stress. No one enjoys that, but it’s a fact of life. As a result, most people wind up going through the wedding planning process while they’re still in their twenties, and then just hope they don’t screw it up. Yet, the planning process can be incredibly helpful, especially for building confidence. Why? Plenty of reasons! For one, by practicing your vows, you can become much more comfortable with them, making you more likely to say them as you mean them on an actual day.

There are certain words that you cannot put in a wedding speech. You may not use the words “I wish” or “I do.” It is best not to say the words “I do” at all, as it signals the end of the ceremony. The vows should be meaningful and personal, and you should make them up in your own words. I have heard people say things like “I’m taking this job because I need the money” or “I’m marrying her because she’s hot.” Don’t be like that.

Writing a wedding vow is one of the more challenging parts of getting married—and one of the most important. Vows are your commitment to your partner and loved ones, and they should be the best they can be. In a word, beautiful. But it’s about more than just form and function. It’s about your own strength, faith, and beliefs. It’s about embracing what that life could be and taking chances, sometimes big ones, because you know you can do it. It’s about celebrating that love that comes with the union of two people. It’s about the commitment, the vows, and the promise. It’s about the vow to love forever. It’s a promise of something beyond what you could imagine, an act that brings you to the point of no return, and it’s only after you know that you’re standing on the brink of an unknown future that you’re able to believe truly.

Here are a few things to keep in mind as you put pen to paper: 

– Vows should be simple and clear so that anyone can read and understand them.

– Vows should reflect your values. This is your opportunity to stand up for what you believe.

– Vows should be personal.

If you are not the type of person who relies on superstition, then this is not the time to write something like, “I promise to do everything in my power to never let the sun set on our love.”

Give yourself time

This is a tricky subject to talk about, so I’ll try to be as to the point as possible. I know the two of you love each other and that you’ve known each other for quite a while. You’ve waited for a long time, and you are tired of waiting. I know that the two of you want to get married, but because neither of you is in a hurry, you’d like to take some more time to rehearse your vows.

Be comfortable with your wedding vows

Weddings are always a family affair, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that you’ll have to take their help in planning your big day. But rather than forcing everyone to participate at the exact same time, consider opening up the floor for questions and answers, where everyone can be more comfortable speaking up.

Read them aloud your wedding vows

Make sure you have thought out your vows well enough. Take time to really consider what you want to say and think about what your partner will want to hear. If you are getting married for the first time and are not sure of the correct wording, a few words in your vows can help ensure that your wedding day is one you will always remember.

Every wedding has one more event than most—the ceremony. Yet even that event is oftentimes left to chance. For example, you could be giving your vows in a gorgeous setting, at the altar, with a beautiful crowd of your closest family and friends, but your vows could easily be forgotten.

So, slow down with your vows. By then, you’ll know exactly how you should sound and will be comfortable. A couple talk too fast during the wedding vows because they are nervous. Before you read the vows, take a few deep breaths before you speak, which will relax your whole body.